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2017 Survival Football Manifesto & Guide Released: Weekly Updates

Week 2

As anticipated, the manifesto was put to the test in a very tough Week 1. According to at least one source (Yahoo), the Texans spoiled the most people’s parties before they could even get their drink on. And while the likes of the Rams and Lions made some risk-takers very happy and in a pretty sweet position to get an unpredictable squad into the win column, the Patriots, Titans, Redskins and Bengals all lost at home in matchups that surely some people selected (albeit against the good intentions of the manifesto). The Jabronis saved a little face with their Week 1 suggestion of the Buffalo Bills in the “top tier” of picks last week, and with the likes of the Vikings and the Packers, in addition to the aforementioned Lions, all getting quality wins at home against quality (but non-divisional) foes, the manifesto is certainly alive and kicking.

That said, we are at what tends to be the “easiest” selection process of the season – Week 2 – where we strongly encourage that, when possible, an-expected-to-be elite team that lost in Week 1 be a high point of consideration (especially if they’re at home and/or not against a divisional foe). Note that this made the Thursday night matchup this week null and void. Truth be told, this really only leaves one perceived “lock” of an option – Seattle, coming off a loss in Green Bay, at home agains the 49ers (divisional foe, yes, but the threat of them going to 0-2 if they don’t come out ready to dominate should outweigh the divisional difficulty).

Other likable picks include the Raiders at home against the Jets (but don’t chase the Jets, this is more of a tea getting to open at home and looking like it’s a bowl contender with how it handled a good team in Tennessee on the road last week). It would be nice to believe in the Giants turning things around if OBJ returns, but they might just be legit bad while the Lions might be legit good (or better than good). Yes, the Pats are enticing with the long week (short week for Saints) after getting trounced. Ditto the Chiefs and the Steelers at home, but don’t go one of these routes only because you want to “save” Seattle. Take the team you believe to have the best chance of winning this week. Tampa Bay at home is interesting, but let’s see them play before we know for sure if they haven’t had “too much” rest.


Dexter Code

Another season of NFL football kicks off tonight, and with it so do many Survival Football leagues. Or Last Man Standing leagues. Or, you get the idea.

We here at Jabroni headquarters have been doing our due diligence to keep you miscreants informed as to how to go about making the calculated “safest” of choices in these types of leagues the last few years with our Survival Football Manifesto.

If you’re unfamiliar with this historical document, click here.

Starting today and being updated weekly, we will post suggestions for survivalists to consider given some well-thought-out guidelines we have learned over the years.

Bear in mind that the best way to go about these leagues is to consider a few games each week for the right reasons and to not try to “save” certain teams while developing a grid of picks up front to cover the whole season. If you have won that way you got lucky, we say. Which is all well and good in its own right, but isn’t fun at all.

And now, let’s see what the manifesto tells us for NFL 2017 Week 1.

*Disclaimer: These updates will occur on Thursdays as much as possible. However, know that from here on out it is generally suggested that you try to avoid Thursday picks (sometimes). If your league requires you to make your pick by kickoff on Thursdays find another league and slug the commish in the mouth.

Good luck!

Week 1

Yeah, so there’s a hard-and-fast rule that the manifesto lives by for Week 1: Pick a home team. That doesn’t mean pick any home team, but find one you like and go with it. Don’t waste a chance to take a team because you want to “save it.”

OK, now that that’s out of the way – When you can, pick a home team in a non-divisional matchup with an uptick given to prime time home teams. (In Week 1, Thursday is generally ok because it’s not a matter of “short rest” impacting the game.)

With this criteria, our options are cut in half as follows:

Patriots (scum buckets)
Dolphins (sike)

Basically, the manifesto is really being put to the test, especially for purists who will try to avoid divisional games.

That essentially leaves New England (vs. Chiefs), Tennessee (vs. Raiders), San Fran (vs. Panthers), Minnesota (vs. Saints), Detroit (vs. Cardinals), Chicago (vs. Falcons), LA Rams (vs. Colts) and Green Bay (vs. Seahawks).

Yikes. Out of this lot, it feels like Green Bay and the Pats will hold up at home, but do we really want to start our season picking against Seattle or KC? Not really.

The advice here is to choose from the Texans or the Bills as tier 1. Interesting to consider Dallas with the mojo they should have with Zeke allowed to play.

It would be so nice to think we could believe in the Rams just for this week with Indy coming in to town a bit of a hot mess. But QBs who are playing with house money in the NFL can be dangerous, especially when going against a team that’s kind of a hot mess as well.

Going completely against the manifesto “code,” Atlanta is awfully enticing coming off a Super Bowl loss where they really want to smack someone around. But isn’t that what kind of cost them the title in the first place?

We won’t shame you for taking these dirty birds if you’re keeping the risks in mind.

For more commentary on our evaluations, subscribe to our podcast on iTunes. Seek the Philly Sports Jabronis.

Dexter Code

Preseason Announcement

It’s almost that time of year again, folks. Time for careful deliberation when deciding which team to choose each week for survival football leagues.

Beginning Thursday, Sept. 7, the Jabronis will be here to help you make informed selections.


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