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Jabroni Joe Releases 2019 Survivor Football Manifesto

Week 2
The Manifesto almost bit it hard in Week 1 thanks to Bubblegum Head Pete Carroll and Seattle. But, in the end, this “game” isn’t supposed to be easy is it? Week 2 will present more challenges than normal as well. We like to be able to err on the side of choosing a squad that lost in Week 1 that is supposed to make serious noise during the season. But the best options on that front look to be the Steelers – who just may not be good and are hosting that Seahawks squad – and, gulp, the Falcons. It would be nice if Carolina wasn’t hosting the Bucs on Thursday night. But they are. So tread carefully there. And it would be nice if the Jets weren’t the home team on Monday night with their QB situation being what it is. But they are. So tread carefully there, too.

Beyond that, the Ravens feel like a nice play, as do the Texans. The Colts provide some intrigue, but they are on the road. Can the Titans stir enough confidence as the home team? If the Bengals truly are not garbage and San Fran sort of is, there’s an interesting game. We are starting to get into the weeds, though.

It would be nice to trust the Packers, even in a divisional game, and the Rams may be able to handle a short-week Saints team at home after the way New Orleans “survived” last week. But, hey, that’s the name of the “game,” right.

And of course, people will flock to the New England Dirtbags in the almighty attempt at chasing the worst team in the league. Yeah, the Dolphins qualify as losers already. Don’t chase them! Set a standard for some more thoughtful picks please!

For more advice, listen to our Thursday Night Football Podcast.
Week 1
It’s a few hours before the first NFL kickoff of 2019, and that means it’s time to get our hands dirty with Survivor Football Week 1. And boy, it’s a bit of a dirty week! The NFL’s trending parity mixed with divisional matchups to open the season make for some interesting decisions to make for picks this week, if you’re willing to follow the Manifesto.

For those wise enough and committed to do so, we know that the goal is to start by focusing only on teams that are opening at home. They are:

Chicago (Thursday night)
NY Jets
Your Philadelphia Eagles
LA Chargers
Tampa Bay
New England (Sunday Night)
New Orleans Monday Night
Oakland (Monday Night)

From here, we like to focus on teams that are expected to be in the upper echelon of the league. REMEMBER – Don’t pass on a team only because you are “saving it.” You can’t win Week 2 if you don’t win Week 1. And avoiding divisional matchups is encouraged – although if there is ever a “safer” time to take a divisional matchup it would be when you are looking at the option of taking a good team that is opening Week 1 at home.

That said, consider Seattle and the Birds as your lowest-risk options. REMEMBER – the Manifesto suggests that we choose based on lowest risk when push comes to shove.

The Chargers present a bit of a compelling case too – home with an Indy team that just lost its franchise quarterback forever changing time zones. But the Chargers have their own drama and the circumstances that Indy is under could bring some extra motivation that is tough to measure. So there’s some risk here.

People will consider the Browns, Jets, and Dallas for sure – and there’s some intrigue there. But taking more proven programs offers lower risk. The Raiders and Saints hosting Monday Night games are also a little tantalizing just because. But buyer beware.

And if you are thinking about picking a road team in Week 1: Woof and God Bless!

To reference the Manifesto, click here.


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